The Don of a New Error

by The Alternative Facts

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Reality TV 01:06
I had an awful dream It couldn't happen here I wanted to believe  That love could conquer fear 
 Today they crown the king They're lining up to kiss his ring 
 What's "great" for him might  not be good for you and me This is the ultimate  Reality TV With everybody watching Komrad D J T...
The Emperor 01:52
The Emperor has no clothes The Emperor has an endless nose The Emperor tells no lies Alternative facts are his disguise The Emperor thinks it's all about him The Emperor has a thin thin skin So don't you dare say anything about The Emperor The Emperor shall be heard The Emperor tweets more than any bird The Emperor can't be caught The Emperor wants what he hasn't got The Emperor thinks it's all about him The Emperor has a thin thin skin So don't you dare say anything about The Emperor The Emperor really fooled us all He burns his bridges while building his walls So don't say anything all about The Emperor The Emperor wants to start a war We've seen these bully boys before..
Lyin' King 03:56
You can lie Such a liar Claiming the world is on fire See the clown Watch him sing Diggin' the Lyin' King Friday night and the crowd's alive Back again with the same old jive Firing up the right wingnuts Getting in the swing Here comes the Lyin' King Anybody could see that guy Caught himself in another lie Life is perfect in Sweden There was no attack They got their meatballs back Maybe he's smoking crack You are the Lyin' King Old and gross Such a nasty thing Lyin' King Tweety Bird With a song to sing You can lie Such a liar Claiming the world is on fire See the clown Watch him sing Diggin' the Lyin' King You're a teaser you scream and shout Chew them up and then spit them out Dreaming up a new whopper Anything will do Nothing you say is true Sunday night on the Twitter feed... Misdirection is what you need Wiretapping sounds crazy But you double down Welcome to Crazy Town Run by an orange clown...
Orange is the color of my true love's hair Trump is in the White House 'cause I put him there First he's getting rid of that ObamaCare There goes my insurance but I just don't care In every way he says the things I want to say He hates the Muslims and the gays He's gonna make them go away And that will be a blessed day Orange is the color of my true love's hair Russia may have interfered but I don't care America is great again 'cause Trump's in charge We keep living hand to mouth while he lives large But that's OK... He's gonna kill the EPA So we can frack and drill away Roll back the clock to yesterday "Clean air and water" so passe Orange is the color of my true love's hair So he wants to date his daughter I don't care Trump is such a stud he's such a manly man Grabs 'em by the pussy 'cause he thinks he can Oh lucky day, the angry white men have their say Obama never took their guns away So now they shoot them in the sky And tell the world that Trump's their guy He'd never ever tell a lie We never ever question why We stand and cheer when he goes by The kids will sing, the flags will fly God Bless America the great We're gonna live in fear and hate We're gonna build a mighty wall Carved out of gold ten stories tall He struck a chord, he hit a nerve The schoolyard bully we deserve Let's party with the KKK The racists never went away
Grizzly Girl 02:38
Grizzly Girl She’s got a gun, so there’s no need to run from my Grizzly Girl When school is done, we’ll have some grisly fun My early years were just a total waste I never caught up to the things I chased But when I saw you there I got a taste of how my life would turn around When school was faith-based Grizzly Girl  She talks to God so go and give her the nod Grizzly Girl When school is done, we’ll go to Kingdom Come Sign me up for your Religious Right Show me the magic of a holy night Hey Hallelujah! Something isn’t right You’re just a deer that’s blinded by the headlights 
Grizzly Girl She’s got a gun so there’s no need to run from my  Grizzly Girl She’ll pray for you She hasn’t got a clue But/what she’ll do Looks like you made it to the party late We’re gonna sew together church and state We’re gonna teach & preach a brand new hate Look at all the kids we’re gonna segregate Throw that evolution in the garbage bin Burn the science books so we can start again We're going teach you ‘bout Original Sin We got the worms to crawl inside your skin Fight and Pray, Night and Day, do it again Come on Voucher Mama we can call it a win Here comes Little Mikey with a shit-eating grin Now that it's over we can all say  AMEN
Scalia's not yet in the ground When the order from McConnell comes down "This is Obama's final year, Let's stick together boys the end is near" McConnell knew he'd have to stall He claimed the public got to make the call And so the GOP held firm In the twilight of Obama's term They would not entertain his choice They're sick of listening to a black man's voice Hung Merrick Garland out to dry Just because he was Obama's guy It was obstruction at its best Mitch McConnell passed the douchebag test The 1% puts up a fight They want the Court to keep on tilting right So they went looking for a tool Gorsuch played by all the corporate rules They saw the "frozen trucker" case They lost but Gorsuch was a friendly face They knew right then they'd found their man: The prototypical Republican During the hearings Neil lost face When the Supremes shot down a Gorsuch case The votes weren't there, McConnell knew He nuked the Senate like he said he'd do So Gorsuch dons the famous robes Maybe he'll help to sink the Russian probe And so McConnell saved the day By redefining the American Way The 1% just won again They keep on ruling us common men They say that karma is a bitch When will it ever bite the super rich? Raise your glass with all the wealthy men Mitch McConnell saved the day again Let's toast the zombie with the triple chin Mitch McConnell saved the day again Made up the rulebook as he went along Mitch McConnell could do no wrong Supreme inJustice with a hint of taint Mitch McConnell is your patron saint Some call it theft, some call it dirty tricks Saint McConnell calls it politics... (some democracy... more like hypocrisy)
Poor little Mikey Down in the dumps He hit the jackpot by Sucking off Trump Dreaming of impeachment, Now THAT would be grand Don't pretend you didn't have The whole thing planned We see your stupid grin and we know where you've been boy... Hey Little Mikey Whatcha gonna do Planned Parenthood's Not afraid of you Neither are the gays And neither are we Mikey's always been The Real Enemy He’s a Hoosier Homophobe A Ladies' Man Legislate her body every way that he can Religious Right Wingnut Lusting for fame You slimy cult leaders all look the same Now you're no dummy, honey And no one thinks it's funny Hey Little Mikey Whatcha gonna say Planned Parenthood's Not going away Neither are the gays And neither are we Mikey's always been The Real Enemy
Sticking up for Dad again Saying he's a champion Such a perfect mannequin Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin 
 She's in it for the money Anybody can see The rotten apple didn't fall Far from the tree A grifter like her Daddy taught her how to be 
(Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin) She makes a pretty penny from her clothing brand Selling glamour at a profit in the motherland Manufactured overseas by tiny foreign hands (Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin) Sticking up for Dad again Calling him a champion Hoping he won't GROPE again Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin She's proven quite adept at cashing in on fame She knows the hoops and hurdles of the marketing game  To avoid the Trump stigma she just changes the name 
(Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin) Now Alex Jones is chewing up the scenery He says Ivanka's turning into Hillary All because she mentioned Syrian refugees 
(Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin) She's got a taste for living large  Jared knows that she's in charge She's always been a Daddy's girl And now she's out to rule the world  
 She tried to fake the empathy She wasn't fooling Germany She doesn't need your sympathy She still has her dignity 
 Sticking up for Dad again Saying he's a champion Nobody falling for the spin Poor Ivanka booed in Berlin
The Trump brand name, My claim to fame 'cause you saw me On your TV The GOP (is) afraid of me It's them I thank for my brand new bank Conflict of interest I couldn't care less And take a wild guess Who'll clean up my mess? The Sturm und Drang My foolproof plan First Syria And next Pyongyang You poor sad fools I make the rules The cash rolls in I always win I'm acting presidential You're acting deferential Yesterday you denigrate me Now you line up to fellate me The lefty losers hate me Because I'm winning bigly Greatest man in history I'm gonna bring you World War Three...
Death Tattoo 04:14
We will remember this A pox on all of you Who gave his ass a kiss You wear a death tattoo You earned your badge of shame A dollar sign beside your name We will remember you Enjoy your death tattoo Finally the votes were there Freedom from Obamacare Come on boys, break out the beer It only took you seven years Freedom from the tyranny Farewell to human decency Freedom to get sick and die Your congressman would never lie You think that we can’t see The hole where your heart should be We shall remember you By the glow of your death tattoo Millions will get sick and die Billions to the wealthy guys The middle class, the welfare crowd They’ll all be covered with a shroud It looks quite nice on you That little bloody death tattoo It suits you oh-so-well Enjoy it while you burn in Hell…
So now it's US against the world The Stars and Stripes can be unfurled We'll fly them high above the Earth for what little they may be worth From sea to rising sea... 
 Au Revoir, Paris 
 This "climate change" is just a hoax Invented by some crazy folks They say the planet's getting hot And it's the only one we've got But Mr. Trump does not agree... 
 Au Revoir, Paris
Chicken 02:37
A game of chicken with two crazy men Don't want to know how this might end Neither cares what the other thinks Who's gonna be the first to blink? Another missile flying high A game of chicken in the sky Tell everyone you love goodbye Today could be your day to die 
 Another missile flying high A game of chicken in the sky The military standing by He's got the nukes, he's gonna let 'em fly 
 The Orange Clown is tweeting out the same old crap He wants to blow North Korea off the map 
 They come by air by land by sea Say hello to WWW III Polish the guns sharpen up the knives Nobody's getting out of this alive...
Dixieland 03:50
Well I wish I weren’t in the Land of Cotton Where the Days of Slaves are not forgotten And the racists say those days were great But the rest of us see through the hate Got the monuments, got the Stars and Bars Flying ten feet high on their jacked-up cars Call it southern pride, call it what you will Turn the clock way back to a time to kill Look away… Dixieland Run away… Dixieland It was long away but we won’t forget How they used Jim Crow as a safety net And the thin redline’s still used today Like the thick brown rope by the KKK Now the trolls line up for their money shot Now they pride themselves on their moral rot Now the tempers flare and the body drop When the violence starts, it’ll never stop Look away… Dixieland Run away… Dixieland The racists never went away The Civil War is here to stay Well I wish I weren’t in the Land of Cotton Where the Days of Slaves are not forgotten Look away Look away Look away Look away
Up in Montana There's a special kinda man A real pugilist Better never get him pissed Temperamental fella gonna Harsh somebody's mellow in a Fit of rage better Keep him in a cage Time for Q&A Don't you give him no flack Ask about the ACA You'll end up on your back WHAM BAM BODY SLAM Ryan and McConnell Had a meeting with The Donald Though they can't condone They're gonna stick up for their own Up in Montana There's a super angry man A real pugilist Better never get him pissed Ask the wrong question He'll leave you flat Obamacare he doesn't wanna Talk about that WHAM BAM BODY SLAM
Maria's gaining force Don Juan is on the golf course The island's getting hit Don Juan don't give a shit 
 He hasn't said a word As if he hasn't even heard The mayor's desperate pleas Don Juan says "on your knees!" 
 From San Juan to Don Juan "What is taking so long?" Said San Juan to Don Juan Soon the island will be gone Said Don Juan to San Juan "Why must you babble on?" Said Don Juan to San Juan "Island life goes on" 
 At last he makes the trip He grabs the mic and let it rip He says that all is well The budget's shot to hell He looks around and scowls Then tosses out the paper towels "At last the coast is clear... I'm getting outta here" 
 It's Don Juan in San Juan Looking like a moron When Don Juan left San Juan They're glad to see him gone 
 The island lies in shreds There's sewage in the watersheds The infrastructure's gone And so is old Don Juan The island is a mess Don Juan insists he did his best No way to carry on No thanks to old Don Juan 
 He rates himself ten out of ten And blames the mayor once again The people start to die Don Juan just says bye bye
Take A Knee 02:52
Dissent has long been an American trait One of the things that makes America great But now dissent is coming under attack By those who only see the white and the black The great divider must be stopped in his tracks No better time to take America back From those who would divide us For those who walk beside us Stand tall, stand proud, stand free Take a stand now, take a knee America has always been a big melting pot Your color shouldn't change the odds you'll get shot Philando [Castille], Alton [Sterling], Tamir [Rice], Trayvon [Martin], Michael [Brown], and Freddy Gray Why are their killers always walking away? Today we honor those who'll never come back Whose crime was nothing more than "Living While Black" Their spirit lives inside us Their memory will guide us Stand tall, stand proud, stand free Take a stand now, take a knee Some people say "respect the flag" They miss the point and that's a drag Dissent is what the flag's about You see injustice? CALL IT OUT! It isn't black and white It's one for all We stand united Or divided we fall
Short-Fingered Vulgarian 
Bona fide barbarian
 A wannabe authoritarian 
Short-Fingered Vulgarian He's always been a little crass
 He slapped the doctor on the ass
 In second grade he made his case 
He punched his teacher in the face He's always been a special boy
 'Cause being bad would bring him joy 
He’s always been a ladies’ man
 He grabs ‘em there because he can Short-Fingered Vulgarian
 Proud to be an Aryan
 A wannabe authoritarian  Short-Fingered Vulgarian He's gotta wear those special gloves
 The kind that only mothers love
 Keep little fingers toasty warm
 Through the roughest Twitter storm Now and then he'll lose his shit
 And throw a man-sized hissy fit
 His fingers may not be that long 
They're still enough to launch the bombs Short-Fingered Vulgarian 
Bona fide barbarian
 A wannabe authoritarian 
Short-Fingered Vulgarian Short-Fingered Vulgarian
 Bona fide barbarian
 Something the dog might carry in Short-Fingered Vulgarian
Don't know why There's no sun up in the sky Stormy Weather Since that man and I Slept together He's lyin' all the time 
 Gotta say Making love was just OK I've had better He said we're perfect together Must have been out of my mind, my mind So glad that he's not mine 
 First he said hello and I felt oh-so-lucky Afterwards he left me Feeling oh-so-yucky So ashamed I prayed the Lord above would let me Feel like myself once more 
 He asked when Could he see me again? I said "never" He warned me not to get  Too clever I said "tomorrow's fine" 
 I walked around in my Own private hell He was afraid of the  Stories I'd tell Paid for my silence through a New LLC This lyin' and cheatin' denying deceiving is Killin’ me Life goes on Now I sing this song Stormy Weather Secrets don't stay secret  Forever He's lyin' all the time Keeps lyin' all the time He's lyin' all the time But now revenge is mine
TrumpTax 02:12
Stealing from the poor Knock them down some more Got to feed the rich The classic bait-and-switch Tease the middle class Then knock them on their ass A couple dollars more Then kick them to the floor Now it's plain to see The greedy GOP Working for the 1% And not for you and me Happy CEOs That's where the money goes It never trickles down God Bless The Orange Clown They're not finished yet They'll cut the safety net Kiss Medicare goodbye You'll work until you die The cookies go to the CEOs and all we get are crumbs It's plain to see the GOP must think we're pretty dumb a trillion dollar deficit the GOP don't give a shit
Let's Have A Parade With the tanks and the ranks of enlisted 'Cause his delicate psyche is twisted 'Cause he's drooling to rule iron-fisted Let's Have A Parade 'Cause the king needs a thing for his ego Show the world that he's some kind of hero But he's only a modern day Nero Get the boots on the ground Get the people to cheer Don't you send in the Clown Cause he's already here Let's Have A Parade Have the women get ready for groping ‘Cause you don’t want to see the king moping Ask Melania how she's been coping Show the French how it's done USA #1 Make them bow down to you Like the dictators do Let's Have A Parade Don't let anyone dare to avoid it Flush the taxpayer cash down the toilet Shoot the losers who show up to spoil it Let's Have A Parade Let's Have A Parade Make America Great Make America Hate Half a century too late Let's Have A Parade!
POX AMERICANA Look into his eyes Windows to the soul Comes as no surprise There's just an empty hole Nasty little Tweets Spewing out more shit How much do we have to eat Until we're sick of it? POX AMERICANA Stare into the void Fall in the abyss So much to be destroyed So little shall be missed Turning up the heat Fan the flames of fear Think Germany in '33 And watch it happen here POX AMERICANA America, America, Oh God what have we done? An angry voice, an awful choice Our downfall has begun We're living through this ugly dream Asleep with open eyes You will be free if you can see The truth behind the lies
Nyet, Donald, Nyet The stage is set They’re closing in on Manafort So start to sweat Nyet, Donald, Nyet You wish that they’d forget How much you loved the tasty bait The Kremlin set Donald thinks the president is like a king Donald thinks that he’s in charge of everything Donald thinks that the president’s above the law Donald has a motto: “L’Etat c’est moi” Nyet, Donald, Nyet The stage is being set Robert Mueller’s gonna catch you In his net Sad, Donald, Sad The Facebook ads The evidence is mounting And the news is bad Donald knows the truth about the money trail Donald knows the proof would send him straight to jail Donald knows that Robert Mueller’s closing in Now’s the time for all good men to save their skin Nyet, Donald, Nyet The trap is being set The king is getting paranoid Now watch him sweat
Caravan 02:29
They cannot wait They mean no harm No need to fear or hate No reason for alarm They have no choice They have no home They hear the angry voice And still they have to roam They seek the promised land The human caravan To love your fellow man, Embrace the caravan A caravan of human souls United with a simple goal: Survive... Just stay alive... They are the poor In search of more Greet them with open arms Instead of open war This isn't new For me and you We are all immigrants Our parents came here too There is no evil plan The human caravan The family of man Embrace the caravan A caravan of human souls United with a simple goal: Survive... Just stay alive...
You're drifting off again And waking up in Hell It looks the same today It's getting hard to tell 'cause now he's way up high and you're still trapped down there He'll always be your guy Just don't pretend he cares Don't be deceived you've gotta D T T You'd best believe you've gotta D T T Get off your knees you've gotta D T T Stop World War Three c'mon and D T T You wanted someone new Who really felt for you He pushed your buttons so you pushed his... Both of your dreams came true This isn't how you planned It's getting out of hand With branches falling left and right... A tree can barely stand. Don't be deceived you've gotta D T T You'd best believe you've gotta D T T Get off your knees you've gotta D T T Stop World War Three c'mon and D T T He's got so much to say In his repulsive way He uses social media Twenty-four hours a day He says he rules with heart The families ripped apart Remember Nazi Germany This is the way it starts The border's tough today The children snatched away Another lie to justify The Donald's evil way Open your eyes you've gotta D T T Get past the lies you've gotta D T T Hate's on the rise you've gotta D T T Freedom will die unless you D T T He had a brilliant plan: The Muslim travel ban "An evil race" he told his base, The paranoid white man He says the news is fake He's gonna make you break He made you think he cared for you... That was your first mistake He's got a sick world view He's feeding it to you Repeat the lie a thousand times Until you know it's true We're going down, we need to DTT He's tightly wound, we need to DTT Don't fuck around, it's time to DTT Impeach the clown, c'mon and DTT ---------------------- If you're not angry, then you're not paying attention Are we all trapped in Some crazy fifth dimension? Just ask the KKK They say he's heavensent The white supremacists adore their racist president And look who's next in line... Mikey the misogynist! He'd like "The Handmaid's Tale" to be the way we coexist They paid off [Anthony] Kennedy They think they've got it made Another right-wing robe For getting rid of Roe v Wade. Unions are going down To bring back slavery But now it's more polite It's called "the service industry" When women's rights are gone That's when the world goes mad Pro-life can help the wife Hello to Nation Gilead The gays have had their fun They'll find the rainbow's end There'll be no pot of gold Inside the closet once again. Hey you conservatives... Aren't you a bit ashamed To have a president Who's always calling people names? He has another title: SEXUAL PREDATOR If you have a daughter, Would you dare leave him alone with her? Hey you deplorables And all you common folk: Now do you ask yourselves Is this some kind of joke? Maybe you're unemployed You loved his carny act He said he'd be your voice Your jobs aren't coming back He talked a great game He really pulled you in Oh you little fishes Trapped on the line again That brand new tax bill It's for the wealthy set They call it "trickle-down" While pissing on your safety net Want to live the American Dream But you don't know how? Not in the 1%? You'll never get there now. The fellows at the top They watch each others' backs First it was "Drain The Swamp" Now it's Government Goldman Sachs He's got a brand new deal The Second Gilded Age The barons reap the wealth while We'll live on a pauper's wage The king is in the White House The belly of the beast The fox is in the henhouse It should be quite the feast Why would somebody Conceal their tax return? To keep a secret, Not just how much they earn, But where it comes from Follow the money trail He's in the Oval Office But he should be in jail Straight from Mar-a-Lago to the county jail ---------------------- Do you remember "My country 'tis of thee"? This fear and hatred Aren't how it has to be Stand up and fight for Sweet Lady Liberty "The huddled masses All yearning to breathe free"* All yearning to be free -----------------


"The Don of a New Error" is a 24 song travelogue over the past two years, with stops in Moscow, Berlin, Pyongyang, Charlottesville, Bozeman, San Juan, the Mexican border, and (of course) the White House. We donate a portion of all profits to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and other non-profit organizations that are not sanctioned by Donald Trump and Mike Pence.

*** IMPORTANT *** We are pleased to offer this album free of charge to reviewers, DJs, and low-income listeners. The message is more important than the money. If you are interested, send us an email message -- alternativefactsmusic (at) gmail (dot) com

We know that 24 songs is overwhelming!

If you want to hear songs that skewer the Orange Clown, listen to "Short-Fingered Vulgarian" (#17), "Let's Have A Parade!" (#20), "Lyin' King" (#3), "When Don Juan Met San Juan" (#16), "The Emperor" (#2), "Pox Americana" (#21), "Nyet, Donald, Nyet" (#22), and "Show Me The Money" (#9). "Dump The Trump" is the ultimate diss, but at 10+ minutes maybe you should work up to that.

If you are interested in specific issues/incidents:

"Grizzly Girl" (#5) -- in honor of Betsy Devos, arguably the least-qualified Cabinet Secretary in US history

"Grand Theft Justice" (#6) -- pays tribute to Mitch McConnell SCOTUS sleight-of-hand (keeping Merrick Garland's seat warm for Neil Gorsuch)

"Hey Little Mikey" (#7) -- in honor of Mike Pence, master of failing upward (from disgraced Indiana governor to second-in-command)

"Booed in Berlin" (#8) -- Ivanka defended her father at the 2017 W20 Summit in Berlin. The Germans were not fooled.

"Death Tattoo" (#10) -- inspired by the GOP's relentless attacks upon the ACA

"Chicken" (#12) -- Rocket Man vs the Orange Clown: which crazy man will be the first to blink?

"Dixieland" (#13) -- inspired by the August 2017 white supremacist march in Charlottesville

"Wham Bam Body Slam" (#14) -- chronicles a temperamental GOP Congressman (

"When Don Juan Met San Juan" (#15) -- documents the petulant non-response to Puerto Rico post-Maria).

"Take A Knee" (#16) -- discusses the reasoning behind NFL non-violent protests.

"Stormy Weather" (#18) -- we revamped the lyrics of the jazz standard to commemorate a porn star suing a sitting president.

"TrumpTax" (#19) -- spills the beans about the "Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017", which was designed to benefit the top 1% while hoodwinking the middle-class.

"Caravan" (#23) -- honors the Central American human caravan, who deserve compassion and empathy. Some Americans have forgotten that this has always been a land of immigrants.

Thank you very much for listening! Spread the word!


"Behind every great fortune there is a crime" -- Balzac

"Follow the money" -- Carl Bernstein

"The truth does not need to be defended." -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"Even gangsters have morals" -- Robert De Niro

"Born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a bug up his ass" -- Anonymous


released February 18, 2019

Written, performed, and produced by The Alternative Facts
Copyright © 2017-9 The Alternative Facts
Thank you for listening!


all rights reserved



The Alternative Facts

Music inspired by the news of the day.

"When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty" -- Thomas Jefferson

The Alternative Facts roared to life on Inauguration Day 2017, taking our name from Kellyanne Conway's definition of LIES, which continue to stream from the Trump Administration on a daily basis.

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